Be fully present when you are with your spouse.
Isn’t it crazy how difficult it can be to stay present with your spouse? After work, or when you finally have a moment of downtime, you want to unwind with your phone in your hand and a show on the TV. But quickly 10 minutes turns into an hour and by the time you lay down to go to bed you have barely even spoken! Even when you are out on a date or driving together in the car, it can be so hard to not pull your phone out and scroll. The littlest ding can be so hard to resist. But you must!
Show your spouse they are the most important thing by improving the quality of your time together. Unplug and look at each other in the eyes! Figure out a way to rid yourselves of distractions when you are together. Some New Year’s resolution ideas with this in mind could be to make a “no phones in the bedroom” rule. You could ban all cell phone use from this important space. At the end of the day, you will be forced to talk to each other and connect rather than waste the night away looking through meaningless posts! Another idea is right after arriving home from work you could put both of your phones in the bedroom so you can still hear them ring, but don’t have it in your pocket, ready to whip out at the first sign of boredom! A great way to kick off your New Year’s goals is to do this Time to Unplug Date Night! When you can be fully present for your spouse, your communication will naturally improve. You’ll notice less tension and more understanding. Read our take on Communication in Relationships advice for more on that! If you are not used to all of this new uninterrupted time together, print out any of our Conversation Starters to make the most of your new-found time!
Focus on what you can do for your spouse instead of what they are doing for you.
Can you imagine how wonderful your relationship would be if you focused on this New Year resolution? After a whole year of focusing on what you could do for your spouse, leaving expectations behind, your relationship would be completely transformed. Expectations suffocate a marriage. Whether you are aware of them or not, you have expectations of your spouse. When your spouse fails to live up to them, it likely frustrates you and causes tension. If you were able to leave behind all expectations, your mindset would be so different. There would be no scorekeeping. So you would train your brain to look for ways to serve rather than ways your spouse has let you down.
A good New Year’s resolution is trackable. You need to be able to see how you’ve made progress. As far as new year goals go, this one can be tricky for that. So you will need to find a way to track your progress. Perhaps you could keep a journal. In it, you could write down the ways you served your spouse that day. We have an incredible resource if this is one of your relationship goals for this year. The 10-Minute Marriage Challenge will help remind you to do the little things for your spouse. When you sign up (it’s only available certain times of the year, so join the waitlist), you will receive text messages giving you specific ways to connect with your spouse. It could be a simple act of service or an idea for a date night. If you want to transform your marriage, this program is for you! It will teach you to set aside time to serve your spouse and make them feel special. Your marriage will be so much happier after just one round of the 10-Minute Marriage Challenge!
Look for the good this year.
Decide with your spouse that you will always look for the good this year. In every situation, find the silver lining. As you both do this, you will find yourselves naturally looking for the positive in every situation. You will bring brightness to your relationship as you both become more positive about life. Doing it together will help you stay on track and support each other.
Assume the best of people. Break habits of talking badly about people, it only drags you down. Seeing the good in the people around you will naturally lift your mood. Then you can come together with your spouse ready to take on the world. You will both be eager to make the best of bad situations with your new-found positivity and zest for life! Keep in mind that staying positive does not mean that you can’t tell your spouse about the hardships and struggles you are facing, it just means that you won’t complain about them. The difference lies is dwelling on the negative. Share your lows, but don’t stay there and pout. Find a way to push through with a good attitude and hope for the future!
Create a New Year’s resolution to get organized together.
Nothing can make you feel even more stressed than a disorganized life! A messy house, poor scheduling, an unclear budget, etc. can make your life feel so much more chaotic than it already is. Life is so busy, you don’t need to add miscommunication and clutter to the mix. That is a recipe for disaster! If this is ringing true for your relationship, go ahead and pencil this in as one of your relationship goals and resolutions 2020!
No matter what area you struggle with most, our Weekly Meeting Planner can absolutely help you. It has it all: A weekly calendar, meal planner, goal sheet, and more! Even down to the weather for the day–it has it all! If all of that overwhelms you, start with smaller short term goals. Start by simply having a planning meeting at the beginning of each month. Map out events and get input from your spouse to get more organized overall. Another great resource is this post for The Best Apps for Couples. There is a whole section on apps that can make scheduling easier. Also, check out the finance and communication sections if better organization in those areas would benefit your relationship! Finances can be a tricky topic if there is tension over that in your relationship make goals to make a change this year. We have compiled an excellent list of The Best Budgeting Resources that can give you a good jumping-off point.
Make relationship goals to overcome something together.
Make this year great by tackling something together. No matter what it is, talk it through and figure out a plan of action together. Perhaps there is something that you could do to improve the mental health of one of the partners in your marriage. Do some research and come up with a plan of action that could help make a difference. Or make an appointment for therapy together.
Maybe you have fallen into a bad habit that is putting pressure on your marriage. Take this year to make a mindful and lasting change. You could even try to replace it with one of these 10 Habits of Happy Marriages. Dig deep and involve your spouse in the transformation. When you work on overcoming a challenge together, it is so good for your relationship. It will also give you both a sense of confidence in your marriage, moving forward. Turning a weakness into a strength would be a great New Year’s resolution! If you feel like you have a lot of work to do on your marriage, look into How to Fix a Broken Marriage and start making improvements this year! That post also has many great ideas of things to overcome–so take a peek for more inspiration!
Go on a weekly date this year.
One of the best New Year goals you can make is to set a weekly date night. If money is tight, don’t let that hold you back. We have at-home date nights galore! Establishing a predictable night and time for you and your spouse to have meaningful alone time together is one of the best things you can do for your relationship. So make it a habit! Get it on the calendar! If you choose that every Saturday (or any other) night as your date night you will remove so much of the hassle. You will both know what is to come, and neither will be caught off guard or unprepared. This does not mean that you can’t hang out with friends on date night, just turn it into a group date!
Of course, we have so, so many great date ideas complete with free printables. Use our Blind Date Envelopes as a resource for picking a great date with no planning effort on your part. We also have tips for How to Make Date Night Happen in case one or both of you need a renewed sense of determination. Of all of the New Year’s resolutions ideas you could choose from, this one has the ability to make a huge and lasting impact.
Reignite the spark this year.
Make a conscious effort to infuse some life back into your relationship. Don’t let all of the fun dwindle with age. Being playful and experiencing new things together is truly the spice of life! Maybe you needed a little reminder to get you back on track. Take this year to focus on enjoying life together. Show gratitude for the simple things in life. Soak up the joyful moments until it fills you to the brim!
Sit down together and figure out what would make life more exciting. Plan things that you can both look forward to! Invest in activities that will make lasting memories. Make a Couples Bucket List and check things off together!
Pick up a new hobby together for your New Year goals.
If Netflix seems like the only thing you do together anymore, it’s time to seek out New Year goals that incorporate something more meaningful into your routine! The first step is to recognize the patterns that you have fallen into. Do you get out and have meaningful experiences as much as you want to? Do you have a chance to admire your spouse regularly for their creativity, hard work, or ideas? This is where a new hobby can really serve your marriage. Starting something new together is not only very bonding, but it also gives you the chance to admire qualities in your spouse that may have been hidden. Bogged down by the stresses of daily life, we lose our playfulness, hopefulness, and energy! Infuse life back into your relationship by creating a new year resolution of picking up a new hobby together!
If there is something you have wanted to try for a while, it will be easy to make this New Year’s resolution and dive right in. Otherwise, you have some brainstorming to do. So try to think of activities and ideas that you would both enjoy (or be able to learn to enjoy). Or just check out this post full of Couples Hobbies. Once you have decided on something, set a day and time that you plan to do the hobby together so that it happens predictably and regularly–every week or every month! To give you a little inspiration, here are several ideas that could make for fun new hobbies this year. First, cook together! Try signing up for a cooking class, or even just searching the internet for recipes together then put on your chef hats and whip up something tasty. We also have a fun Iron Chef Date night that could be a fun way to kick off your new hobby this year! You could also add to your New Year’s resolutions 2020 list, gardening! Research, prep, shop, and grow things together. Another hobby idea is to learn to dance! You could take a class or regularly find youtube tutorials and bust a move together. If you want a hobby with even deeper meaning, you could find a place to become volunteers. Whether at a nursing home, hospital, food kitchen, or somewhere else, serving the community with your spouse will be a great hobby that you could do for years to come!
Make a New Year’s resolution to get fit together.
What New’s Year’s Resolutions post is complete without talking about resolving to get fit in the new year?! The truth is this is a great goal whether you have weight to lose or not! Getting your heart pumping is good for the body and the mind. So doing it together with your spouse is a great way to have you both feeling good while also getting to spend quality time together. Now that’s a true win-win.
If you make a pact together to make healthier choices this year, you will be able to support each other. You can seek out and cook healthy meals together–check out this post of Healthy Lunch Ideas. Try out any of the workouts from this huge list of Youtube workouts. You will be able to work out together and at home! You could also make a date out of your workout–now that’s quality time well spent! See our post of 50 Healthy and Active Dates. If weight loss is your goal, we created a fun way to track your progress with your spouse. Host your own Couples Biggest Loser Competition. You can download free printables and find a thorough explanation of how the competition will work on the post.
Make intimacy a priority for your New Year resolution.
This does not have to mean you should have more sex. It means making your spouse feel desired and wanted. This can be done through the words you say and the affection you give, but also through text messages throughout the day. Connecting throughout the day makes you both feel that giddy excitement that was so present in the early days of your relationship. Bringing those loving feelings back can be a natural gateway to enjoying sex more and seeking out intimate moments with your spouse more often.
This is a new year, just because this may have been a weak spot in your relationship in the past does not mean it has to be so this year! Make intimacy relationship goals with your spouse for the new year. Agree that at least once a day you will send a flirty or spicy text to refocus your minds on each other. Or pencil in on the calendar a regular day and time you plan to be intimate. Or choose one of our intimacy ideas and games to play each month to keep things from getting boring and predictable. It is so important to keep things lively and fresh, and what better time to recommit to a more sexy, fun, playful intimate life than right now, at the start of a new year! There are so many resources you can use to make a New Year resolution of better intimacy a lasting quality of your relationship. Check out this awesome intimacy app that will guide you right to the intimate life you have always wanted just by using your phone. For a huge list of some of our best game ideas for better intimacy, take a peek at this list of The Best Sexy Games for Couples. And if you need help in the romance area so you can work your way up to those sexy games, first look over our Romantic Date Ideas for Couples. If you are going to make intimacy a priority as part of your resolutions 2020, it’s going to take some work. Outline specific ideas and how you plan to implement them. Remember, romance is as much a part of intimacy as sex is. So take your time and find ways that help you both to get the maximum enjoyment this year!
New Year’s Resolutions 2020
Use these ideas and advice to make a fresh start in the new year! Your resolutions for 2020 could change everything. Isn’t that what the New Year is all about? Become the best version of yourself and have the relationship you’ve always wanted. Big changes start with small steps!
